Saturday, March 17, 2012


Bridgette died last night. (March 14, 2012). I cried like I haven't cried in a long time. Maybe since February 12 2011.

She was born in May of 2000. I got her about six weeks later.

She was a gift given to me from a friend. This friend Susan, who later became my wife, could see that I was hurting and lonely and headed toward destruction.

She put allot of energy into doing something that would help lift my spirits. So naturally she got me a puppy.

Why not a card or a bag of licorice?

A puppy.

What was I going to do with a puppy?

I was living alone, working more than full time, trying desperately to see my kids when ever I could.

A puppy! With a massive pink bow. Complete with a crate, food bowls, food, toys etc.

Thanks, but I don't have time for a puppy. I appreciate the thought but now is not the right time for me to take care of a puppy. I can't even take care of myself let alone a puppy.

All these words were in my mind and suppose to come out of my mouth, but just as they passed my tongue they became,

"Thanks so much. she is just what I need."

What the heck did I just say? I can't do a puppy right now. Can't you see I'm drowning here?

And there we were. Me and Bridgette. This adorable little Golden Retriever puppy with a pink bow and me. Spending many, many nights together, playing, learning tricks, cuddling, eating and sleeping together. I know that dogs shouldn't sleep in bed with me but it will only be tonight.

Tomorrow I'll make her sleep in her crate.

Or maybe the night after that.

How did Susan know that this puppy would stabilize my life and be just the thing that would begin the long process back? I don't know but I will be forever grateful that she knew.

Some how she knew.

Almost 12 years later, Bridgette left me. Left us. She has been a great part of our lives. Our grandkids have never know us without her. Our kids have become used to having her with us everywhere. On camping trips, at birthdays, family party's, in the house (Always in the house. Never an outside dog) and anywhere that we could possibly take her.

She left me in a much better place than where she found me.

Thank you Susan and thank you Bridgette.

I miss her.

Thursday, March 1, 2012


Right now, somewhere in the Henry Mountains is my son TJ. He is with friends hunting for deer sheds.

We were in the Henry's last year at this same time. (Didn't turn out so well). TJ was the one who got us out. Without him, I wouldn't be laying in bed next to my wife right now.

A storm came through last night and I have been worried about him. Maybe I should get in the truck and go find him. He is out of service so I can't call. Maybe he will call today.

When is it when a father quits worrying about his kids. (TJ will be 30 in a couple of months)
Tahsha is healing, Keynan is catching up, Kolton is lost, Luke is crazy busy, Josh is far away, Britt is moving forward, Bug is trying to breathe. What about my Daughters and Sons in law?

Then there are the grand kids. Now I have 9 more to worry about.

Sometimes I wish I could put worry in my wallet and only get it out when I have time. Maybe I'll learn how to do that sometime.

Another day perhaps.

Until then, I wonder if TJ stayed warm last night?

Saturday, December 31, 2011


Yesterday, Tahsha and Leah came by to pick up Ellie.

Leah whispered something to Tahsha. I asked what she had whispered and Tahsha tole me that Casey had died in the night. She started to cry. We have known that he was sick. Mike and Nichole have been helping her with him.

I wish that I believed in a mysterious force in the universe that controlled everything. FATE, or KARMA, or the SUN or MOON. Then I could shake my fist and curse it. But I don't. I know that a loving Father in Heaven is in control and I submit to his will. I have great faith that in his hand is all that teaches, strengthens and heals.

I just hurt when my little girl hurts. This last year has been so hard on her. I want to pick her up and kiss the hurt and make it go away. I haven't figured out how to do that.

We have run the course of 2011
What a year it has been
We have let go a few to heaven
Of dogs, children and men

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Following Tahshie

I have been following Tahshie's blog since before Brad died. I really enjoy her posts.

This morning at about 6:00, I couldn't sleep so I opened her blog and caught up. I enjoy being part of her life. I love the phone calls for help when she needs something. I even enjoy speeding to her house in the middle of the night and searching her house for an intruder that set off her alarm. I remember thinking that he (who ever he is) better not resist in any way or he was going to get to see Brad sooner than the rest of us. He would have to explain to Brad why he was in his house with his wife and daughter in the middle of the night. Good thing no one got caught that night. Better for him and better for me.

As I was banging around in Blogspot trying to learn more about the site I found a section called "Following". I guess this is who is actively following your posts. The only one listed was "Mya". Oh well, maybe I'll try learning another day.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Well, It has been over a month since Wyatt got his helmet. He loves to go to the store and show it off.

Keynan and Sara have been telling us that they can tell the difference in his head. I was sure that this was just parents hoping for the best and seeing things that maybe were not really there.

However; as you can see from the pictures after just 30 days of wearing the helmet, it really is working fast.

This picture was taken on the day of the fitting. You can clearly see the flat spot on the back right side of his head and his ears are offset.
According to the doctor, his head was out of square by 14 millimeters. They determined this by making a X on the top of his head and then taking measurements.

Just a short 30 days later and "Holy Cow", look at the difference.

The doctor told them at the last checkup that Wyatt's head is now just 6 millimeters out of square. It has moved over half the way.

Look at the right rear area that was so flat. It is now nicely rounded. Look at the ears. They are much more symmetrical now.

We should not have been surprised. Wyatt has been working very hard this past 30 days. He has been doing his physical therapy exercises and is always happy about it. He has been wearing the helmet religiously and only takes it off for a bath. 1 hour per day.

On a lighter note, have you ever been walking through the house bare footed? Have you ever caught your little toe on some object and heard it crack as the little bone inside snaps! Have you felt the pain shoot up your leg as you wonder if you will loose your breakfast?

Well, this is a post about Wyatt and the successes that he has realized. Not about my pain, so we won't talk about it. (The toe and part of the foot did turn a really nice color, don't you think)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Day 7

Well, the long awaited day arrived. Wyatt's appointment to get fitted for his helmet. He is excited and wants to get on with it.
The reason that the helmet is needed? Let me see if I can explain.
(When I get done, call Keynan and Sara for the real explanation.)

In the womb, Wyatt was safe and comfortable. He loved to cuddle up, listening and feeling his Mom walk, talk, sleep etc. While he was so comfortable, he would rest his head down and to the right. The muscles on the left side of his neck were stretched out but the muscles on the right side did not get stretched. They were perfectly formed, but not stretched out.

After birth, Wyatt could not turn his head to the left due to the muscles on the right side of his neck being to short. He also could not lift his head up. As a result of this, Wyatt continued to lay on his back with his head down and to the right. This caused the flat spot that you can see on the back right side of his head.

As the flat spot grew, it shifted the soft bones in his head. As you can see, his ears are offset. This is not noticeable from the front as you can see from the first picture. The front right side and the rear left side are more pronounced.

The doctor explains how the helmet that Keynan is holding will work. The helmet will fit snugly on the front right side and the rear left side. It will have space between the helmet and his head on the opposite sides. As his head grows, it will grow into the spaces and not grow where it is already snug. This will reverse the process that has already happened to cause the head to be misshappen.

The doctor spent allot of time fitting the helmet on Wyatt. He would make marks and take measurements and then leave for 10 or 15 minutes. He would cut and shape the helmet to fit him exactly.

After several times in and out of the room, the doctor does the final fitting.

And Wallah, Wyatt loves it. He appears to be overcome with joy and happiness.

Actually He got use to the helmet pretty quickly.

Being above average intelligence, looks, personality and ancestry, he will do just fine. (Papa's Bias)

Please stay tuned. We will continue to show Wyatt's progress. The doctor told Keynan and Sara that he will wear the helmet for 3 to 4 months. He did caution them that this was just an estimate. Some take longer.

Once again, many thanks go out to everyone who donated money to help Keynan and Sara.

P.S. The ladies at the animal shelter are phenomenal. They and those that they know contributed more than we ever could have hoped for.

Now quit reading and get back to work. That means you Lindsay!!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

2nd Day

Well, we have been working hard in collecting funds for Wyatt.

We received a very generous donation from an anonymous source. To those people who don't want to be known and don't want to receive thanks, "THANK YOU" I cloud up a little thinking about the fact that someone beyond our immediate family would be so generous.

Jason and Britt made several donation buckets with Wyatt's picture on it. Jason placed one in Brookside. Kolton took one to Salem Chevron. We have several others if anyone has ideas as to where to place them.

Everyone who helps will have a hand in establishing a normal life and a good self esteem for Baby Wyatt.